Alextopia.

I definitely should be going to bed since I have to be up at a disgustingly early hour tomorrow. But as I was brushing my teeth and pacing around my bathroom (those of you who know me know I cant keep still for more than three seconds. If it weren't viewed as so abnormally bizarre, I would def pace all the time.), I started thinking about how much better life is an my little head. I have all the perfect ideas and theories mapped out which would create an essentially pleasant land for me to live in. And I'm sure that everyone has their own perfect world in their mind, but not everyone has a blog under mine name in which they post whatever they're thinking about. But since I happen to have just that, I think I will share with you some of my ideal world (Alextopia...not that I've given it enough thought to name it or anything..).

•  No job or school shall start earlier than nine in the morning. It's just cruel to have to wake up early.
• There will be no talking before ten in the morning. Only hugging. Okay, maybe some talking. But only if it is to tell a girl she is beautiful. Or a boy he is handsome.
• Everyone should have to learn the piano or guitar.
• Gas will be free. In fact, everything will be free. Including the new Michael Kors satchel at Macy's that I've been eyeballing for several weeks now.
• There will be no such thing as pale skin. Life's just better tan.
• Everyone should have to go to a zoo, beach or park at least once a month. Just so they can relax and enjoy the simple found beauty in nature. 
• There will be no games in dating. Just simple "I like you so let's hang out and fall in love and get married and be together all the time".
• There will be no such things as bullies. They just wont exist. 
• Jealousy and hatred won't exist either.
• Nutella will be available on every street corner.
• Sephora and Sprinkles will have vending machines on every street.
• Cupcakes will be the main food group. 
• Trips to Paris will always be free. Because Paris is always a good idea.
• Calories wont exist. 
• The only size beds available will be California Kings.
• The whole world will smell like flowers and fresh laundry.
• Monday's will always be canceled. 

A girl can dream.

I'm really good at this...

And no, I'm not talking about how regularly I updated my little blog, which I kinda actually suck at. But in my defense, I've been having some got dates with Criminal Minds marathons and the F. Scott Fitzgerald section of Barnes and Nobles.

But what I've come to learn this past year is that I'm insanely, legitimately, proficiently amazing at jinxing myself. 

It's true. Whether it's from me claiming that my skin is clearing up, that my car has been getting great gas mileage lately or that I met the cutest boy ever, the fates seem to find it amusing to just dump a crap load of "LOL JK" on me the second I start thinking about it. The past couple of days I've been musing about this idea and have realized it's been happening for quite some time now. I just barely recognized it for some gay reason. 

So I have three theories as to why this unfortunate and almost inevitable let down reaction often occurs to me whenever I feel as though something is finally going right. The first is a lesson in humility (which this might start to sound a little preachy, but this is my blog so get over it.). It's not that I'm necessarily bragging about whatever good luck happens along my way, but I do like informing the important people involved in my life about such stuff (and maybe the occasional tweet..). I've never thought of me telling one of my best friends about how I made it out to Tempe with less than a quarter tank as bragging and honestly I don't think it is. Just a simple really cool fact. 

But maybe I'm not on the same mind track as my Heavenly Father. I can't even began to count how many lessons about humility (and chastity and not kissing every boy that says I'm pretty, thank you Sister Miller for trying to make me and Sarah respectable young ladies...it's finally kicking in I think!) that I sat through in Young Women's, politely nodding occasionally so the teacher doesn't think I'm totally blowing it off. I know that humility is a very important trait that we should all cultivate but me informing someone about my latest date and how fun I though we had only to have it go nowhere seems a little bit of a harsh way to try to teach me about humility.

The second possible theory is the idea that I need to stop focusing on me so much and more on others. Instead of gushing on and on about the amazing deals I found on my last shopping trip, maybe I should ask the other person how their life is going. Maybe in a way, this would be like an attempt at tricking the fates and karma (which I've tried before and ended up falling on my face. Karma's one smart lady..). By focusing less on my good fortunes and more on other people's, maybe my fortunes will improve!

And the last theory is that I'm just always supposed to be a never clear complexion, spends way too much money on gas, single for life girl who will end up shooting myself in the face just so my 27 cats don't eat my face off when I keel over all alone in my trailer. Let's be real, the third one's probably the most legit explanation. 

It's inevitable.

It's an ill illness...

The third consecutive hour of me laying in my bed, cuddled up next to my Sleeping Beauty pillow and dark chocolate covered Acai blueberries, googling one way tickets to Machu Picchu and Rio de Janeiro rolls around and I still can't get my little mind to stop buzzing. I've tried everything. And watching Eat Pray Love for the fourth time in three days (no judging) certainly didn't help my condition. What condition?? Possibly one of the worst conditions a broke college girl can have.

I have been consumed by wanderlust.

And not in the giddy, pin a billion pictures of destinations to my "places to see before I die" Pinterest board(which I must shamefully admit to having one) only to be distracted by a grotesquely fattening dessert that somehow incorporates Snickers, Nutella and brownies all in a delicate cupcake form.

Oh no no no, this fiery need to go out and explore areas that I have only seen in pictures and read about in the many many issues of Smithsonian that we have scattered throughout my house (thank you Grandma Pat for that) isn't some passing phase. My feet are aching to walk across the lush gardens of Belfast Castle in Ireland or to spend time just looking up and marveling at the simple beauty in found in the 13th century architectural style of Matthias Church in Hungary. The cobblestone sidewalks and charming college atmosphere down Mill Ave can only entertain my trekking soul and mind for so long.

Then again maybe the reason why I want to travel so badly isn't just for the exhilarating new sights. Perhaps it's simply that I want to go somewhere where no one knows my story or my life or even my name. What a beautiful thing it would be to start fresh, having nothing for anyone to judge you off of. It would be like opening a new notebook, nothing but blank pages for you to fill with adventures and narratives and never having to worry about previous stories bleeding through into the next chapter. Just a fresh, crisp start.

But due to my lack of monetary funds and the fact that I return to school in two and a half months, I must stay in Phoenix and live out my voyaging adventure through magazine articles, Travel channel specials and making Belgium waffles or misoy soup. YOLO, right?

Almost mandatory "All About Me heart heart heart" post.

I like to think of myself as an optimistic go-getter who's just trying to figure out what exactly I want in life. The world likes to think of me as an abnormally long limbed, old-fashioned out-dated moral holding (yep, I'm Mormon!), awkward young adult who can never make up her mind. And both of these are legitimate definitions. I am trying to realize what I really want in life and I am awkward. Incredibly awkward (I blame the unnecessarily extended appendages that my parents genes so lovingly bestowed upon me).

Whether I'm smiling from ear to ear or locking myself in my room, blasting Celine Dion attempting to hold back tears, I found that I'm constantly learning more about myself. And this past year away from home at college has def aided in me finding myself. But that's another blog post for another time. Right now, I'm just giving you the basics of who I am and some random facts that you might find entertaining. Or extremely eccentric.

• I have four sisters and am stuck right in the middle of them. As much as I sometimes will hate to admit it, I couldn't imagine my life without any of them. 
• As much as I talk about moving to California or maybe even venturing out to the east coast, I know that I will always stay within a day distance near my family. Always.
• I have a complete woman crush on Audrey Hepburn. And Demi Lovato. 
• I can get very set in my ways. But am always open to trying something new at least once. 
• I am a social media whore. My iPhone is almost always in my hand and I constantly over-abuse facebook, twitter, email, pinterest, instagram, etc. etc.
• I have my daddy's tender heart when it comes to love and family but my mom's practical (and sometimes heartless) mindset when it comes to solving problems. Which is probably why I struggle so much with trying to find a practical way to get over situations that involve any sentimental matters.
• Nutella is awesome.
• I love anything with chiffon, sequins and lace. Anything. Even if it was naked mole rat dressed in a chiffon dress with lace trim, I would love it.
• I have a tendency to over think situations. Which most of the time leads to me getting my hopes up but hey, I'd rather look at the glass half full then half empty anyway. 
• If I could, I would move to Greece, live on the beach and read my life away. 
• Peonies are my favorite flowers. With sunflowers as a close second.
• I hold my pride much too high at times. I'm very bad at asking for help and often turn it down when offered. I guess I should work on that.
• My future academic goals are to get a masters in Business Communications and become either a public relations manager or a marketing manager. But I would be completely and utterly happy if I could be a stay at home mom. At least until all my kiddos are in school, then I'd go back to work.
• As I led on in my previous bullet, I don't really like having idle time. I'd much rather be productive than be lazy. But I do enjoy the occasional laying out and doing nothing. 
• All through high school, I never understood why some girls were so eager to get married and have a family. But I realized just how beautiful and special it would be to have your own family with someone who you absolutely, positively adore. And now, I want one.
• Victoria's Secret Pink line is one of my favorite lines ever! 

So there you have it folks. Random little tidbits into my small, idiosyncratic soul. Either be amused or repulsed. But hopefully more amused.