Alextopia.

I definitely should be going to bed since I have to be up at a disgustingly early hour tomorrow. But as I was brushing my teeth and pacing around my bathroom (those of you who know me know I cant keep still for more than three seconds. If it weren't viewed as so abnormally bizarre, I would def pace all the time.), I started thinking about how much better life is an my little head. I have all the perfect ideas and theories mapped out which would create an essentially pleasant land for me to live in. And I'm sure that everyone has their own perfect world in their mind, but not everyone has a blog under mine name in which they post whatever they're thinking about. But since I happen to have just that, I think I will share with you some of my ideal world (Alextopia...not that I've given it enough thought to name it or anything..).

•  No job or school shall start earlier than nine in the morning. It's just cruel to have to wake up early.
• There will be no talking before ten in the morning. Only hugging. Okay, maybe some talking. But only if it is to tell a girl she is beautiful. Or a boy he is handsome.
• Everyone should have to learn the piano or guitar.
• Gas will be free. In fact, everything will be free. Including the new Michael Kors satchel at Macy's that I've been eyeballing for several weeks now.
• There will be no such thing as pale skin. Life's just better tan.
• Everyone should have to go to a zoo, beach or park at least once a month. Just so they can relax and enjoy the simple found beauty in nature. 
• There will be no games in dating. Just simple "I like you so let's hang out and fall in love and get married and be together all the time".
• There will be no such things as bullies. They just wont exist. 
• Jealousy and hatred won't exist either.
• Nutella will be available on every street corner.
• Sephora and Sprinkles will have vending machines on every street.
• Cupcakes will be the main food group. 
• Trips to Paris will always be free. Because Paris is always a good idea.
• Calories wont exist. 
• The only size beds available will be California Kings.
• The whole world will smell like flowers and fresh laundry.
• Monday's will always be canceled. 

A girl can dream.

I'm really good at this...

And no, I'm not talking about how regularly I updated my little blog, which I kinda actually suck at. But in my defense, I've been having some got dates with Criminal Minds marathons and the F. Scott Fitzgerald section of Barnes and Nobles.

But what I've come to learn this past year is that I'm insanely, legitimately, proficiently amazing at jinxing myself. 

It's true. Whether it's from me claiming that my skin is clearing up, that my car has been getting great gas mileage lately or that I met the cutest boy ever, the fates seem to find it amusing to just dump a crap load of "LOL JK" on me the second I start thinking about it. The past couple of days I've been musing about this idea and have realized it's been happening for quite some time now. I just barely recognized it for some gay reason. 

So I have three theories as to why this unfortunate and almost inevitable let down reaction often occurs to me whenever I feel as though something is finally going right. The first is a lesson in humility (which this might start to sound a little preachy, but this is my blog so get over it.). It's not that I'm necessarily bragging about whatever good luck happens along my way, but I do like informing the important people involved in my life about such stuff (and maybe the occasional tweet..). I've never thought of me telling one of my best friends about how I made it out to Tempe with less than a quarter tank as bragging and honestly I don't think it is. Just a simple really cool fact. 

But maybe I'm not on the same mind track as my Heavenly Father. I can't even began to count how many lessons about humility (and chastity and not kissing every boy that says I'm pretty, thank you Sister Miller for trying to make me and Sarah respectable young ladies...it's finally kicking in I think!) that I sat through in Young Women's, politely nodding occasionally so the teacher doesn't think I'm totally blowing it off. I know that humility is a very important trait that we should all cultivate but me informing someone about my latest date and how fun I though we had only to have it go nowhere seems a little bit of a harsh way to try to teach me about humility.

The second possible theory is the idea that I need to stop focusing on me so much and more on others. Instead of gushing on and on about the amazing deals I found on my last shopping trip, maybe I should ask the other person how their life is going. Maybe in a way, this would be like an attempt at tricking the fates and karma (which I've tried before and ended up falling on my face. Karma's one smart lady..). By focusing less on my good fortunes and more on other people's, maybe my fortunes will improve!

And the last theory is that I'm just always supposed to be a never clear complexion, spends way too much money on gas, single for life girl who will end up shooting myself in the face just so my 27 cats don't eat my face off when I keel over all alone in my trailer. Let's be real, the third one's probably the most legit explanation. 

It's inevitable.